FSM HateMail is a “best of” collection of the hate mail “Gospel Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster” creator Bobby Henderson receives on a daily basis. It must be pure bottled brilliance these naysayers are chugging:

HI My name is Toni And I am 14 years old i would just like to let you know that I am extremly offended i can not belive that you actualy believe that a bowl of pasta (nothing more) created the universe and how dare you tell me I will burn in hell i know that i will go to heaven and you know why? that is because i believe th truth and only that that GOD created the universe and no where in the bible does it say GOD is made of pasta and another thing you just sat down one day and said let me write this book so people will do what i want not GOD i think you had a little to much to drink when you came up with this crap i am not angry it just upsets me that people have been decived by you and you have been decived by satan himself he can disquise himself as anything including a bowl of pasta.

I noticed in one part of your page you were bemoaning the fact that some are not taking your beliefs seriously. You even make a smug comment insinuating that you are better than Christians because followers of the FSM have never killed anyone. I certainly applaud that. But, I wonder, have you ever thought of it from the opposite standpoint? How many folks have died (rather than killed) for their Christian beliefs? If someone put a gun to your head and asked you to renounce your beliefs in the FSM or die, what would you do?

I hope you rhappy. Your crazy cult has turned my best friend upside down. he is now expelled from school because he punched numerous teachers for not teaching the believe of the stupid spaghetti crap. last weekend i saw him and asked “why did you do this Tucker” he said that somebody named bobby.henderson@gmail.com sent himm an e-mail telling him to hurt maybe even kill people that would not respect your so called “religion”. I HATE YOU. MY FRIEND IS GOING THROUGH SO MUCH COUNSELING BECAUSE NO ONE BELIEVS HIM THEY THINK HES CRAZY. STOP YOUR STUPID CULT NOW!!!!!!!!!! BEFORE OTHER PEOPLE GET HURT. I sware if i met u i would make you want to die!!!!!

Hopefully God will be more merciful to you than you are to Him. Enjoy mocking the beliefs of the mass majority of America, you misguided elitists.

And my personal favorite:

your a fuckin faggot and burn in hell. if i knew you personally id slit your throat and watch you suffer as i laugh and do a fat cocaine like off of your dead body. I would then light you on fire, light my cigerette off of the ashes, smoke weed with the fire and piss on the ashes. then i would take your ashes roll them into a blunt and smoke them. i hope you fuckin burn in hell along with everyother piece of shit on this planet. -Cory Hart